Communication is the key to happiness in a relationship and in bed. But, sometimes, getting that conversation started can feel a little awkward.
Early on in my relationship with my fiancé, we tried to have a conversation about….well….sex. What kinks, fantasies, etc did we each have, and honestly, we came up a bit short. Neither of us has good sexual partners in the past, so to say we were a bit vanilla was an understatement. We both knew we wanted more, but we needed a way to get the conversation started.

Here are some of the the things we did that really got the conversations going:

Shows to Watch

The following list of shows were extremely useful. We would watch these together, pause quite often, and have some great conversations about what was being presented. This actually taught us a lot about the milder side of kinks, which is an area we are both very comfortable being in.

Netflix – How to Build a Sex Room
Designer Melanie Rose works with couples to build “sex rooms” ranging from wild dungeons to spiced up bedrooms. Melanie introduces different toys and kinks for the couples to explore

Amazon / Tubio – The Good Girl’s Guide to Kinky Sex
Over a period of several weeks, different couples are given mystery boxes containing different toys, games, and ideas to try.

Discovery+ – Good Sex
With sensual caresses, kinky toys and new techniques, Sex Coach Caitlin V helps real-life couples discover how to have mind-blowing sex. Exploring their deepest sexual desires, couples reach toe-tingling orgasms and find intense intimacy in the bedroom.

Smartphone Apps / Websites

Along with the shows above, there are some good tools that help you figure out where you both in terms of interests and kinks. We found these all to be very useful in finding compatibility that lead to more open conversations.

Official
This app suggests different positions to try. Each person clicks on yes/no/maybe on their own phone and when there are matches, they are shown to both people.

Spicer
Similar to Official, but this app goes further into kinky acts. Each person clicks on yes/no/maybe on their own phone and when there are matches, they are shown to both people.

Mojoupgrade.com
This is a web-based tool that is along the lines of Spicer

Come join the discussion on Reddit at r/SexyFunAdvice