Something I see a lot in the forums is a guy who just bought some new prostate toy and is asking how to get started. While this seems like it should be pretty basic, there are some tips I will share from my experience that I think will help someone get started down this path.

Choosing the Right Toy

There are literally hundreds of models to choose from, so how do you go about picking out the right one? Your first thought usually is something like “I’ll just get something cheap from Amazon to see if I like it”, and this usually becomes the very first mistake they make. The main thing that makes for a bad experience is the basic design. It seems some companies just don’t do any research or product testing and just crank out tons of products with varying shapes just to flood the market. Let’s take a look at the main design problem of these cheaper toys.

The example above is very typical of products you will find on Amazon. The stem section is just too big, this prevents the toy from “locking into place” properly. To get this toy to stay in place would require some very good control of your pelvic and sphincter muscles. Add to this that some of these have thrusting features and the moment you turn that on, it thrusts right out of your ass.

A well designed product is going to be designed to work with your anatomy, it will not be excessively large, it will be curved to hit the prostate area properly, the stem will be smaller to help hold it in place, and it will be well tested before being sold.

The Aneros Helix Syn Trident is one of the most popular prostate toys on the market, for good reason. The head is not overly large, making for more comfortable insertion and usage, the stem is smaller to help hold it into place, it is curved to put pressure in the right spot, and it features two small tabs that add pressure points to enhance the effect.

Vibrating vs Non-Vibrating

This is a topic that is brought up pretty often because a non-powered toy may not be doing anything, or the guy just thinks “More Powa Baby!”. Again, we run into a problem with poorly made products. The cheap, generic stuff on Amazon typically use extremely powerful motors, instead of subtlety stimulating your prostate, you feel like someone shoved a jackhammer up your ass and your insides are being scrambled. Prostate stimulation, especially when getting started, is about learning the nuances, feeling the prostate swell up, noticing the tingling sensations. Shoving a poorly design toy with a motor powerful enough to stir concrete is simply going to squash any of those feelings.

The Aneros Helix comes in both powered and non-powered versions with the vibration on the V model being only 15% of it’s maximum on the lowest setting. This can be just enough to add to the sensations without obliterating them. While I know this sounds like an ad for Aneros, that is not the intention here, I am simply using them as a comparison to poorly made products, and they do happen to be the top brand for prostate toys.

Lube

You simply cannot discredit the importance of a good lube for prostate play. A proper lube is going to have several distinct properties. First, you cannot use a regular silicon lube since the toys are generally (but not always) made from, or are coated with silicon, and a silicon lube will eventually break down the silicon on the toy. Secondly, you need something that is going to work well to provide the right action.

Typically, the top products that you should use include:

• Water-based lube
• Hybrid lubes with low silicon content
• Coconut Oil
• Crisco shortening

What I find with a basic water-based lube is that they are too runny and don’t last long. You want something that is going to stick to the toy well and lubricate throughout the process. Getting more lube into place is possible by using a lube shooter, this can ensure you have plenty of lube inside, before inserting the toy

My personal favorite right now is the new Hybrid Lube from LubeLife. It is nice and thick, sticks to toys well, and lasts a long time. A close second is Coconut Oil. I really enjoy the feeling of it, but it is a bit harder to clean up. A very common recommendation online, although I have not personally tried it, is Crisco Shortening, and if you have someone in the house that bakes, you probably have some in the kitchen. Like Coconut Oil, it works great, but is harder to clean up. Big advantage is that you can walk into any grocery store and buy a can.

Getting Started

Step 1 – Learn Control

Ok, so we have picked out a good toy, we have our lube of choice handy, now what? Well, before you even start with the toy, I am going to suggest you start somewhere else. Get some ear buds, and go to http://mindgasm.net. This site is designed to teach you how to have hands-free orgasms with only muscle control and relaxation. After a while of using toys, I can actually do this now, but we are focusing on using toys here. Without using the toy….yet, go through the free lessons. These lessons will help you relax, help you to breath better, and teach you how to use certain muscles. This will come in very handy in the next step.

Step 2 – Prep

Let’s be real here, one of the biggest fears of doing any kind of anal play, is…well…to put it simply…poop. Nobody wants to deal with a fecal mess. And in all seriousness, if your are going to go off-roading, you might get mud on your tires. However, there are ways to minimize, the risk of a shitty experience. First off, fiber. Yup, you need a high fiber diet, McDonalds may taste like cardboard, but it doesn’t count. A good psyllium husk supplement can make a massive improvement in your bowel movements by keep them drier and cleaner. I use a psyllium husk capsule supplement and take three before bed. This was a major game changer right here.

Next up, washing out the insides will pretty much rid you of any residual matter left inside. A quality anal enema with backflow prevention is only $15 on Amazon. Fill it with some warm water, lube the end, stick it up the rump, and fill yourself up. Remove the enema, and push out the liquid. After usually 2-3 times, it should be coming out nice and clean.

Step 3 – Let’s Get Ready

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but I am going to say it anyway, unless you are aroused and relaxed, you are not going to be sticking anything into your chocolate starfish without some major discomfort. At this point, I want to highly recommend that your never use any numbing lube or cream. If you are numbing your anus, then a) you may not feel pain that is telling you something is wrong, b) you will miss out on additional pleasurable sensations.

I suggest putting a large towel on the bed, having your toy and lube handy, and choosing a good position. Some guys like laying on their back with their knees up, while others prefer laying on their side.

Get yourself nice and relaxed, practice some of the Mindgasm techniques and get the muscles working. When you are ready, get your toy ready. Now don’t just go shoving it into your exit, play around, push gently, start slow, work it in, don’t force it. Once it is in place, relax.

Step 4 – Enjoy

Are you ready to experience a mind bending, life altering, full body, intense orgasm? If you are, you might be a little disappointed. Your body has never felt these sensations before (unless you are experienced with butt play already) so it can take several sessions before you feel anything. Don’t chase any feelings, and don’t touch your penis. Try and feel any warmth building inside, see if you can feel your prostate swelling up.

the first sensations you get may be a tingling, it may be your legs starting to shake. Just ride it, but don’t try to force it. Use your pelvic muscles you learned about in Mindgasm. With some practice, contracting your muscles like you are trying to stop peeing can make the toy move back and forth. Eventually, you will get involuntary contractions and even feel the toy moving in and out without you doing anything.

What to Expect

A Prostate Orgasm, and potentially also anal orgasms (which are possible) do not feel like a penile orgasm. An orgasm is not defined as ejactulation, it is the pleasurable sensation of muscle contractions.

Orgasm, or sexual climax is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic, involuntary muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure

Wikipedia

Your body may shake, you may feel an energy wave go through you, you may leak precum, and in some cases, you may actually ejactulate, even though your penis is most likely not going to be erect. The key here is that people experience it in different ways and how I describe mine, may not describe yours so I am not going to go into too many details. You just have to let your body experience it. I cannot speak for everyone, but mine comes in waves, there will be a buildup, my penis will twitch, it will hit a high and then quickly drop off. If I want to keep going, it will start over again and keep repeating. At some point, usually due to time constraints, I have to stop and be done. Just know that your experience may be unique to you.

Summary

Well, I didn’t think this article was going to be this long when I started it, but the more I wrote, the more detail I wanted to include. I really hope this helps some of you to have a good experience, because when it works, it is just fantastic.

Come join the discussion on Reddit at r/SexyFunAdvice