We’ve all heard of the many uses of food shortening like Crisco. You can bake cakes, fry eggs, and even make your own soap with it! But have you ever thought about using it as a lubricant? This is a question that has been debated for years, and now we’re here to answer it once and for all….or are we?
The Naysayer Camp
The short answer is: no, you should not use Crisco food shortening as a lubricant. While it may be safe to use in your cooking, it is not safe to use on your body. So why not?
For starters, Crisco shortening is made with hydrogenated vegetable oils. These oils are not made to be absorbed into the skin and can cause irritation when used internally. Additionally, the oil in the shortening can leave behind a greasy residue that can be difficult to clean off.
The second reason not to use Crisco as lube is that it contains additives like preservatives and emulsifiers that are not meant to be used on the skin, or inside your body. These additives can irritate sensitive areas or cause allergic reactions in some people.
Finally, Crisco shortening can also become rancid over time. This means that if you store it in a warm place or leave it out for too long, it will start to smell bad and could potentially cause infections.
Now that we’ve gone over why you shouldn’t use Crisco food shortening as lube, let’s talk about what you should use instead. The best option for lubricants is water-based lubricants like KY jelly or Astroglide. They are designed specifically for this purpose and are safe to use on your body.
In addition to water-based lubes, there are also silicone-based lubes which are also safe to use on your body. They tend to last longer than water-based lubes, but they can also be more expensive.
Finally, if you’re looking for something natural and organic, you can always consider using coconut oil or almond oil as a lubricant. However, it’s important to note that these oils can break down latex condoms, so they should only be used with non-latex condoms or non-sexual activities.
So there you have it! While Crisco food shortening may have many uses in the kitchen, it’s definitely not one of them when it comes to lubricants. Instead, stick with water-based lubes or organic oils for the safest and most effective experience!
The Yay-Sayer Camp
First of all, Crisco is incredibly affordable. Most lubricants can be expensive, but Crisco is an incredibly cost-effective solution that won’t break the bank. It’s also easy to find in most stores, making it a convenient choice if you’re looking for something quickly. Another great benefit of using Crisco as a lubricant is its texture. Unlike some water-based lubricants, Crisco won’t get sticky after long periods of use or during vigorous activity. This makes it ideal for those who want to enjoy their intimate moments without having to worry about their lubricant becoming a mess.
Crisco is also a great option if you’re looking for something that won’t irritate sensitive skin. Unlike some other lubricants on the market, Crisco doesn’t contain any harsh chemicals that can cause irritation. Plus, its thick consistency makes it easier to apply evenly and precisely so you don’t have to worry about any awkward messes.
Finally, one of the best things about using Crisco as lube is its flavor! If you’re looking for something that adds a bit of flavor to your intimate moments, then look no further than Crisco! The light, buttery taste of our food shortening adds just the right amount of sweetness to your experience, making it even more enjoyable for both partners.
As for the mess, Crisco cleans up easily with warm water and soap. So while it may be harder to clean up than water-based lubes, it certainly isn’t difficult.
So there you have it! If you’re looking for an affordable, convenient, and tasty lubricant for your intimate moments, then look no further than Crisco food shortening! With its thick texture and buttery taste, it’s sure to take your intimate moments to the next level.
Where does this leave us?
So, we have heard from both sides of the debate, but how can we put this to rest? Here is how I look at it, which applies to almost any lube, but especially to multi-purpose products like food shortening and coconut oil. If you are getting a can or jar of product to use for lube, ONLY use it for lube. If you are pulling a can of shortening out of the kitchen cupboard, it may well be contaminated from scooping it out with a dirt spoon, other products getting into it, etc. This is where the health risk comes in. If it stays in the bathroom, and is used with clean hands, and kept as sanitary as possible, there is very little risk to using it.
Does it work?
To be fair to this article, I felt it only fitting that I put some shortening to the test. First off, how hard is it to clean up….lI rubbed some into my hand and fingers, and sure enough, it felt like a greasy mess. I put my hand under some pretty hot water, but it really didn’t come off. As soon as I added some hand soap, the shortening disappeared almost immediately.
As an anal lubricant, the texture feels very good, and a little bit goes a long way. A big advantage of shortening is that it adheres to toys well and since the melting point is around 117°, it lasts a LONG time! For toys like butt plugs and prostate stimulators, 3-4 hours is not an issue at all.
What is the final answer here? The short answer is “it depends”. If the food shortening is kept clean and is fresh, the risk of an issue is minimal, although not non-existent. The cleanup issue, for me, was trivial. The effectiveness as a lube for certain applications was fantastic. Anything that isn’t 100% sterile can present a risk but we felt it was small enough for us to give it a try, and we were pleased with the results. As with most things…..YMMV.
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